Horrible Anime Quest | How To Make Vampire Holmes Bearable to Watch

Hello everyone and welcome to our place!

Today is Tuesday and that means we will be talking about Anime today! Moreover, it’s a special Anime, one of the worst Animes I’ve ever watched. Remember when I said Dynamic Chord was the worst Anime I’ve ever watch? Scratch that! This one takes the lead… for now!

– Small Review –

First things first, let me give you some information about Vampire Holmes. This Anime has 12 episodes, with 3 minutes each. The setting is about a guy called Holmes and his assistant Hudson. While Hudson tries to make Holmes do any kind of work during the episodes, Holmes always prefer to stay aloof and don’t do anything. It belongs to the studio “Studio! Cucuri” and it was based in a mobile game.

I think they tried to go for comedy in here… The problem is, no episode is funny whatsoever. In fact, most of the times, I can’t even see a punchline whatsoever, which we all know, for an episode of 3 minutes containing any kind of joke it needs to have a punchline of some kind.

Most of the episodes are completely random (which is not necessarily a bad thing). However, there are episodes that the story is just basically a normal conversation between Hudson and Holmes which isn’t funny, neither interesting.

Nevertheless, I liked two episodes out of it. One that is when Kira, the cat, appears and he has a funny conversation with Holmes where the last implies that Kira had a romantic affair while being out. Additionally, I also liked the last one where they connected all the dots and made a nice final episode combining most of the things we watched. It was not funny, but at least it was interesting.

Voice acting is good and, although simple, the animation isn’t bad either. They even used more silly animations for the fun factor. You all know that I love these. However, they were not enough to make me even crack a smile.

Oh and let’s not forget that there is no kind of reference that Holmes is in fact a vampire! He could just be a night owl from what I’ve watched.

In conclusion, Vampire Holmes is bad. The worst Anime I’ve ever seen and I’m glad that it’s only 3 minutes for episode. It would be hard for me to watch it if it was 20 minutes an episode.

– Vampire Holmes Improvement –

Criteria

As with Dynamic Chord, I’m going to have some criteria to try improving the show. In this case, I can’t pass the 3 minutes for episode and continue with the comedic vibe.

In fact, I think this kind of Anime would be better passing in Japan while in a commercial break. (Probably that was the idea from the start?). Think with me, really small bit with a strong punchline, making people laugh and wanting to buy the mobile phone game. It makes sense, right?

Improvements

– Take out the outro –

Now, you only have 3 minutes to air the episode and they decided to have an intro of 30 seconds and a outro of another 30 seconds. This makes the episode itself to only have 2 minutes instead of 3.

Well, while the music is cool, I don’t really need to hear it twice (it’s the same music for the intro and the outro) in a time space of 3 minutes. Moreover, the outro is way too static and nothing interesting really happens. This way, I would just take out the outro and use a static image with both Holmes and Hudson with their chibi animation saying Tune in Tomorrow or something like that. This way, there will be more or less 27 additional seconds to deliver the joke.

– No “What’s Going To Happen In Next Episode” –

Again, you have to deliver a joke or something interesting in about 2 minutes. Feeling that space with what is going to happen in the next episode does not seem to be a good use of the time. Focus on the episode itself, if people want to watch the next episode they will tune in the next day. Moreover, if this is going to be a commercial, then it will appear many times during the day, which means, people will end up watching it nonetheless.

– Go for a Less Random Plot –

As the story goes, it seems that the 12 episodes end up being about solving a really difficult crime which involves a werewolf. However, although it’s cool to watch all the dots being linked in the last episode, during the Anime there’s many episodes that do not seem to have anything to do about solving the crime per sais. This way, I would go for a better conduction of the plot. Let’s say, instead of having an episode where Hudson and Holmes talk about going in a walk (and that’s literally it), throw a werewolf in there and make a funny joke about it.

– Have a Strong PunchLine –

Comedy writing is one of the most difficult type of genres to write, at least for me. Nevertheless, I’m gonna try it out and give an example.

Kira, the cat, appears in the house. Holmes makes a party because he was out for a long time. Implies that he had a secret romance while being out and the cat answers it’s a secret – the same the actual episode goes.

However, instead of cutting to Hudson and just kill the joke there, I would go for:

Kira with dreamy eyes. Change the scenery to his thoughts. Kira appears in the Eiffel tower having a really nice dinner with Christina, the landlord. Then in some kind of spring with the Mount Fuji in the background.

You know the landlord at this point and you know she is basically a beast! This way, it would be a fun thing to watch seeing a character that you would never see in a lovely way doing that. It’s random, unexpected and funny!

– Conclusion –

And… That’s it! That’s what I would change in Vampire Holmes to make it better. Would it turn out in the best Anime ever? No! However, at least it would make you giggle from time to time. And, let’s face it, it’s better to see an Anime as a commercial, versus some kind of shampoo commercial or something like that.

Have you ever seen Vampire Holmes? Did you hated as much as I did? Would you watch my improved version of it? ALSO, do you have any kind of horrible Animes suggestions for me to watch and try to improve? Tell me in the comments!